Standing still, I can't move. The fire burns. It flickers through me with eager determination. That fire is uncomfortable. It crackles in my heart and smolders the edges. I fight it. A grey plume of smoke covers me from the inside out, a fabric of seemingly noxious existence. I start to choke. Full of ominousness, the flicker turns to flames. The smoke fades, an illumination of light. I open my hands, palms facing up, aglow. Everything within me and in front of me, irradiated. I take a single step forward.
This is the beauty of long term travel-being part of a world completely separate than the norm and void of repose- it creates a ragbag of emotion that challenges and creates growth.
It isn't every day that we allow ourselves the opportunity to step outside of comfort. Perhaps, one never allows themselves that opportunity. But why? It's easy being comfortable. Life is easy in routine. Award yourself the adventure of opportunity. It is in that adventure that weaknesses wane and fragility turns to strength. Cross over the border. Take Heart.
Zambia is quite the intriguing place. The normal suddenly seems extraordinary and delightfully challenging; an entirely new country, with new people, new attitudes, new traditions. Every day is a venture through the unknown. The mind wanders aimlessly in every direction. Where will I go? Who will I meet? Where should I buy my groceries? Am I getting the Mzungu(white person) fare? Should I say hi in english or nyanja or bemba or tonga.. oh wait I only speak english. Muli bwanji! Can I get on that mini bus? Maybe next time. Will my shower be warm? How long will my laundry take me today? I hope I'm scrubbing long enough. Should I take a side road? No. no street signs. I will get lost. Where is the market? Where can I exchange my money? Where is the coffee shop? Who sells bagels? Is this milk still good. Is Sharon making nshima today? When is the power outage? No internet today. Oh, no running water. Oh wait, no power either. I hope the Prado doesn't die. Where is the Braai? Wait, the second dirt road or the third or wait, after the big tree? AH, I'm on the wrong side of the road. Watch out for the curb. Take the fifth turn off the chicken round-a-about. Lawn bowling anyone? Want to play soccer? How many stares will I get today when I go for my run? I wonder how many people will start running next to me. Do you have a clicker? Where is Kamba? We're on Zambia time. I wonder if my package will arrive next month or the one after that. Window open tonight? Okay, mosquito net it is. Why is my rice moving? Oh, those are roaches. What happened to that apple? The mouse ate it. What's that smell?
All the stimulus. All those questions. Remember that there exists the potential to feel every single emotion on any given day. The fear, the anxiety, the excitement, the happy, the sad, the challenging, the nerves, the hesitation, the discomfort, the wonder, the awe. They are all part of the adventure, the opportunity. What you will find when you take that leap.